Ankylosaurus
As an Ankylosaurus you would be a walking bunker – wide, low and plated from snout to tail, with a bony club that could break a predator’s ankle.
The biggest tank
Ankylosaurus magniventris, named by Barnum Brown in 1908, lived about 68–66 million years ago in western North America – alongside Triceratops and Tyrannosaurus in the Hell Creek and related formations. It was the largest known ankylosaurid, estimated at roughly 6–8 metres long and around 5–8 tonnes.
Surprisingly, it is known only from a few partial skeletons, and most full-body reconstructions borrow from better-known relatives such as Euoplocephalus.
Armour and club
Your back would be covered in osteoderms – bony plates set in the skin – forming bands of armour, with horns projecting from the back of the skull. Even the eyelids of some ankylosaurids had bony plates.
The tail ended in a club of fused osteoderms, supported by stiffened tail vertebrae that turned the tail into a handle. Biomechanical studies suggest large clubs could deliver enough force to break bone. Injuries on related ankylosaurs suggest they also used their clubs against each other, perhaps in contests over territory or mates. Ankylosaurs were not slow-thinking boxes on legs. CT scans of related species show complex, looping nasal passages that may have helped warm and moisten inhaled air and amplify calls.
Low life
Ankylosaurus was a low browser, feeding on ferns, shrubs and possibly fruit within about a metre of the ground. Its teeth were small and leaf-shaped, and it may have relied heavily on a capacious gut to ferment tough plants – the broad body housed a correspondingly broad digestive system, which is what its species name, “great belly”, refers to.
With a predator like Tyrannosaurus nearby, your best strategy would be to stand your ground, protect your belly and swing.
